I'm a keeper of bees
I'm young enough, and in good enough shape to climb Mt. Everest
I am given the same gift Paul was: 3 years alone with Jesus
I live on a rocky, windswept shore of the ocean somewhere where
or
I live on Prince Edward Island
In my dreams:
My husband and I are able to take a hiking trip through the English countryside, stopping at pubs and cozy little bed & breakfasts whenever the mood strikes us. We really need an extended amount of time together....
We have enough time and money to take our sons and their special-someones on a trip from here to Yellowstone and the Giant Redwood Forest
I have parents. I need them so badly
I live out in the country where I can raise a pig every year or so-this would be for eating, not a pet
I would be able to keep flowers alive outside
After my death, but before I get to heaven, Jesus takes me soaring with Him over all of creation. the earth is such an incredible place and there are so, so many places I want to see before He rolls it all up like a scroll:
Mt. Everest
Galapagos Islands
Machu Picchu
New Zealand
The Black Forest
The Swiss Alps
Madagascar
Banff National Park
The Great Barrier Reef
castles in Scotland
The Italian Alps
etc.
etc.
etc.
my funeral is a Celebration not a mourning. (No comments from you, my sons!)
And I dream that someday:
I'll be brave enough to write a book and attempt to have it published.
I'll live without fear and trust the Lord like He should be trusted
Our walls will be painted happy colors, and we'll have new flooring throughout
My brothers and I will be able to have a "funeral" for my dad. The three of us haven't been all together in one place since my dad died 7 years ago. I would love to laugh and cry and say goodbye to him with my brothers
We have a house with a dining room big enough for all of us to sit in, eat in and share our hearts with one another in, without being scrunched
I'll find a hair style I like
In my dreams
I have a Sam and a Turnbul marching through life alongside me
I have 2 someones at my disposal to help rearrange furniture any time the mood strikes
the scriptures speak to my heart in ways I never imagined
I'm not afraid to stand up in front of a crowd and actually speak
I live remembering that Eternity with Jesus is coming
So, how about you? What are some of your dreams? Pipe or otherwise....
September 26, 2009
September 24, 2009
Three Little Birds....
I wasn't sure I was going to make it last year when our 2 oldest sons moved out. Watching them pack up and move their stuff out bit by bit was way more difficult than I'd ever imagined. I felt like our family was dying; like a piece of me was dying. I felt like I'd suddenly popped over the hill and was on a slow slide down to "the end".
What on earth is my purpose now? What will I do with my time? Who am I if I'm not a mom to all 4 sons? I knew I was still a wife, but that was only half of me. The other half was being dissected. The mom half. Will they be too busy to come home once in awhile? To call? Will our family lose its closeness? Will they still need me? Is it OK and normal to want them to need me? Did we teach them everything they need to know to live a Good life with God as the center?
To make matters worse, our second son was not only moving out, he was moving into a not-so-safe part of the city to work with inner city kids. Would he be safe down there?
Believe it or not, those are just some of the questions and emotions that ran through me. I was also concerned that I'd made an idol out of my sons and our family. Was it through them that I found my joy? My fulfillment? My purpose? Those things should come from my relationship with Jesus.
Well, a year ago last June we decided to take our two younger sons on a mini-vacation shortly after we'd finished school for the year. We made reservations at a motel about a day's drive away, and took off. It just so happened that the day we pulled out of the driveway was the day our second son ended up moving out. Talk about weird. There we were, driving away, pulling out of our home for a few days, when my boy was loading his car and pulling out for good. I thought my heart would crack and crumble. I wanted to be there for him, to say goodbye. To help if he wanted/needed it. My husband knew better. He thought it would be easier on everyone if he got his weepy wife out of the way!
As we drove I kept tearing up like a leaky hose. Finally # 3 couldn't take it anymore. He reached forward from the backseat of the car and handed me a CD.
"Here mom. Let's listen to this."
I mindlessly popped it into the CD player and heard Bob Marley singing "Three Little Birds". It's over there on my play list if you want to listen to it. It's a "happy" little song with a fun beat. I immediately cheered up. Life looked better and more hopeful. Of course, my husband didn't know what was going through my head-I wasn't talking. I was just listening. Listening to the words, but thinking about The Word.
As I listened and thought my husband suddenly interrupted me: "Why are you listening to that? Do you know what a humanistic worldview that guy has?" And he reached over to turn the CD player off.
"Wait! Could we please listen to it? Listen to those words! 'Three little birds, on my doorstep, singin' sweet songs, of melodies pure and true'...."
Bob Marley may not know a thing about melodies pure and true, but when I heard those words I thought about the bible and the melodies pure and true that resonate from cover to cover.
It was like there was a slide show suddenly running in my head...pictures of my life and how I'd seen God holding onto me, loving me, healing me, teaching me...
While Bob chirped his little tune the Lord was hugging me and reassuring me.
One after another of His promises ran through my heart-
...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)
... If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. (Ps. 139:8-10)
... your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be. (Ps. 139:16)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps.139:23-24)
Bob and his little birdies may not know a thing about anything, but the Lord was able to use even that mindless little song to reassure me that yes, every little thing is gonna be alright.
What on earth is my purpose now? What will I do with my time? Who am I if I'm not a mom to all 4 sons? I knew I was still a wife, but that was only half of me. The other half was being dissected. The mom half. Will they be too busy to come home once in awhile? To call? Will our family lose its closeness? Will they still need me? Is it OK and normal to want them to need me? Did we teach them everything they need to know to live a Good life with God as the center?
To make matters worse, our second son was not only moving out, he was moving into a not-so-safe part of the city to work with inner city kids. Would he be safe down there?
Believe it or not, those are just some of the questions and emotions that ran through me. I was also concerned that I'd made an idol out of my sons and our family. Was it through them that I found my joy? My fulfillment? My purpose? Those things should come from my relationship with Jesus.
Well, a year ago last June we decided to take our two younger sons on a mini-vacation shortly after we'd finished school for the year. We made reservations at a motel about a day's drive away, and took off. It just so happened that the day we pulled out of the driveway was the day our second son ended up moving out. Talk about weird. There we were, driving away, pulling out of our home for a few days, when my boy was loading his car and pulling out for good. I thought my heart would crack and crumble. I wanted to be there for him, to say goodbye. To help if he wanted/needed it. My husband knew better. He thought it would be easier on everyone if he got his weepy wife out of the way!
As we drove I kept tearing up like a leaky hose. Finally # 3 couldn't take it anymore. He reached forward from the backseat of the car and handed me a CD.
"Here mom. Let's listen to this."
I mindlessly popped it into the CD player and heard Bob Marley singing "Three Little Birds". It's over there on my play list if you want to listen to it. It's a "happy" little song with a fun beat. I immediately cheered up. Life looked better and more hopeful. Of course, my husband didn't know what was going through my head-I wasn't talking. I was just listening. Listening to the words, but thinking about The Word.
As I listened and thought my husband suddenly interrupted me: "Why are you listening to that? Do you know what a humanistic worldview that guy has?" And he reached over to turn the CD player off.
"Wait! Could we please listen to it? Listen to those words! 'Three little birds, on my doorstep, singin' sweet songs, of melodies pure and true'...."
Bob Marley may not know a thing about melodies pure and true, but when I heard those words I thought about the bible and the melodies pure and true that resonate from cover to cover.
It was like there was a slide show suddenly running in my head...pictures of my life and how I'd seen God holding onto me, loving me, healing me, teaching me...
While Bob chirped his little tune the Lord was hugging me and reassuring me.
One after another of His promises ran through my heart-
...in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)
... If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. (Ps. 139:8-10)
... your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be. (Ps. 139:16)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps.139:23-24)
Bob and his little birdies may not know a thing about anything, but the Lord was able to use even that mindless little song to reassure me that yes, every little thing is gonna be alright.
September 17, 2009
Parenting
My husband and I have decided that "parenting" adult children is like riding a rollercoaster. You strap yourself in and hang on for the ride, but they call the shots. You are left alone in your seat to deal with the ups and downs and sidewayses and all the emotions that go along with the ride.
August 20, 2009
36 Dollars
We spent 36$ in order to take our youngest son to the zoo the other day. 36$ for THREE of us.
He enjoyed the seals and the sea lions, but after that he only had eyes for the birds. We practically had to drag him away from the pink flamingos and their best friends, the ducks.
We looked at giraffes. Well, my husband and I did. When we looked down to talk to our son about their long necks and what they were eating, he was gone. He was across the way, looking at an ugly old vulture.
While my husband and I stood and laughed at a teenage baboon digging a hole in the ground with his back legs up over his head, our 7 year old ornithologist was watching the sparrows dart in and out, over and around the baboon.
We took him to see the kimono dragons. SOME of us admired their muscular legs and long claws. We were fascinated by the fact that those dragons can smell their dinner up to 2 miles away. (Sort of like me with chocolate, but that's beside the point.) While we were studying the dragon, my little boy was once again studying the sparrows fluttering around the dragon's lair.
He shuffled his feet and lethargically looked at the elephants, the zebras, and the red pandas. Forget those boring animals. Where are the robins and sparrows?
Finally we took him in to see the desert creatures and meerkats.
"Look Barrett! Look at the size of that tortoise!"
"Yeah, but mom, look at that zebra finch! He has a nest up there in the rocks!"
We tried to interest him in the bearded dragons, the iguana and some of the other lizards whose names I don't recall.
"Look at that quail! Can I have a quail for a pet? OH! That's the kind of finch I saw at the pet store! He's from Australia and costs 100$. Can I get that kind of finch for a pet?"
The meerkats only received a polite nod from his little head. Then he was looking up, looking for the tiny birds that fluttered over our heads.
Finally we decided to sit outside in the shade and cool off. That's when that little guy really came to life. The sparrows! Oh the sparrows! He darted around watching them, following them, laughing at them, and tossing bits of his Cliff Bar out to them. He laughed at a robin hopping along the ground, and chased off a black bird. (He was stealing food from the sparrows.)
There were sparrows everywhere; some of them nearly brushed our shoulders when they came in for a landing. Our son didn't know where to look so he looked everywhere at once. His head bobbed left, then right, then up, then he'd twirl around, trying to watch each and every bird all at the same time.
My favorite part of the day was watching him. However, next time I want to do that, I'm going to spend 36$ on birdseed and throw it and my son out into the back yard.
He enjoyed the seals and the sea lions, but after that he only had eyes for the birds. We practically had to drag him away from the pink flamingos and their best friends, the ducks.
We looked at giraffes. Well, my husband and I did. When we looked down to talk to our son about their long necks and what they were eating, he was gone. He was across the way, looking at an ugly old vulture.
While my husband and I stood and laughed at a teenage baboon digging a hole in the ground with his back legs up over his head, our 7 year old ornithologist was watching the sparrows dart in and out, over and around the baboon.
We took him to see the kimono dragons. SOME of us admired their muscular legs and long claws. We were fascinated by the fact that those dragons can smell their dinner up to 2 miles away. (Sort of like me with chocolate, but that's beside the point.) While we were studying the dragon, my little boy was once again studying the sparrows fluttering around the dragon's lair.
He shuffled his feet and lethargically looked at the elephants, the zebras, and the red pandas. Forget those boring animals. Where are the robins and sparrows?
Finally we took him in to see the desert creatures and meerkats.
"Look Barrett! Look at the size of that tortoise!"
"Yeah, but mom, look at that zebra finch! He has a nest up there in the rocks!"
We tried to interest him in the bearded dragons, the iguana and some of the other lizards whose names I don't recall.
"Look at that quail! Can I have a quail for a pet? OH! That's the kind of finch I saw at the pet store! He's from Australia and costs 100$. Can I get that kind of finch for a pet?"
The meerkats only received a polite nod from his little head. Then he was looking up, looking for the tiny birds that fluttered over our heads.
Finally we decided to sit outside in the shade and cool off. That's when that little guy really came to life. The sparrows! Oh the sparrows! He darted around watching them, following them, laughing at them, and tossing bits of his Cliff Bar out to them. He laughed at a robin hopping along the ground, and chased off a black bird. (He was stealing food from the sparrows.)
There were sparrows everywhere; some of them nearly brushed our shoulders when they came in for a landing. Our son didn't know where to look so he looked everywhere at once. His head bobbed left, then right, then up, then he'd twirl around, trying to watch each and every bird all at the same time.
My favorite part of the day was watching him. However, next time I want to do that, I'm going to spend 36$ on birdseed and throw it and my son out into the back yard.
July 21, 2009
A Break
So, did any of you watch that video? I love that group! (Lost Dogs)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be taking a break from this blog for a bit. There are too many things going on in my mind, my heart, my life, and my extended family. I'm starting to feel like Bilbo: butter scraped over too much bread.
I hope you are enjoying the summer! It's flying by, isn't it?
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be taking a break from this blog for a bit. There are too many things going on in my mind, my heart, my life, and my extended family. I'm starting to feel like Bilbo: butter scraped over too much bread.
I hope you are enjoying the summer! It's flying by, isn't it?
July 12, 2009
Mother-in-Law Part Deux
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Mother-in-Laws. Specifically, I wanted to know how on earth to be one.
I have a new friend who gave me the best advice yet:
Wear beige and shut-up.
If they're old enough to marry, it's their problem.
(Good advice for simply parenting adult children. Or should I say Un-parenting?)
I have a new friend who gave me the best advice yet:
Wear beige and shut-up.
If they're old enough to marry, it's their problem.
(Good advice for simply parenting adult children. Or should I say Un-parenting?)
July 9, 2009
It Just Ain't Fair
If nail polish determined femininity, I'd be a man.
Last week I sat here and contemplated my toes.
I've often thought my toes were Fred Flinstone toes. Wide, fat, and ugly.
I sat here and looked at those Flinstone toes and thought, well, maybe a little nail polish will help them look more feminine. Maybe it would help me feel more feminine. So I went to the store and bought some pink nail polish.
I am not a pink person. I didn't realize it until after I'd polished my toes, but I know it now. I removed the pink nail polish and the next day back to the store I went. This time I thought I'd try a deep burgundy. Maybe that's my color.
Now, the label on the nail polish said "Chocolate Truffle", but it looked like deep burgundy, so I bought it. Guess who was right?
That stuff looked like dark Dove chocolate had melted onto my toe nails. I may love to eat dark Dove chocolate, but to wear it on my toes? I don't think so.
I quickly grabbed the nail polish remover and got rid of the "chocolate look". Then I sat here and contemplated my nail polish and my toes once more. How much more money do I want to waste on this project? I looked at the pink. Nope. The Chocolate Truffle. No way. But then I had a brain storm! Pink and dark chocolate together just may make a deep burgundy!
I got out a paper plate, some Q-tips and both bottles of nail polish. I poured out a little pink liquid onto the plate, then a little pile of chocolate and, like Van Gough, I carefully mixed them together. It worked! I had thee perfect color! So, I painstakingly began to polish my toes. This is when my real problems began.
I am 2 years away from being half a century old and I wear bi-focals. Well, even with my glasses on my toes were so far away I could hardly see where my toe nails ended and my toes began. I slopped that burgundy concoction all over my foot. And, by the time I had 3 toes done I'd run out of thee perfect color and had to mix some more.
So, I poured out a little of each color, blended them together and finished foot #1. Then I noticed two things. the first thing I saw was that 3 toes had one lovely shade of burgundy, the other 2 had a completely different shade. The other thing I noticed was that my toe nails had grown wider and longer. Oh wait. That's just polish. I grabbed the nail polish remover, (luckily I'd thought of buying some when I purchased the nail polish) and a Q-tip and tried to remove the nail polish from the last two toes and the skin around toes #1, 2, and 3.
I bet you can guess what happened and you're right. Even with my bi-focals on I couldn't see very well so I accidentally removed half the polish from toe #2. I now had 2 1/2 toes polished. Back to the drawing board.
I removed all the polish from each toe, and mixed another batch of polish together. This time I made sure to make enough for all ten toes. Then I began the process of trying to polish only the nails on each foot. However, it took so long, because I couldn't see the nails very well, that by the time I was done with 7 digits my little pile of paint had dried up.
So, then. Back to mixing. Then polishing. Then realizing the new color didn't match the other 7 toes. Then removing all of it. Then trying again. Then getting them all done only to remove half the polish off each toe as I tidied up the area around the polished nails. So I had to remove it all and start over again.
This whole adventure took about 90 minutes. When I looked at the clock and realized how much time I'd spent on Femininity I was shocked. I also realized that men have it easy. They have to work hard at not looking masculine.
I have waved the white flag on my battle with nail polish. It's over. I'm now wasting time Googling "Craft Projects Using Nail Polish."
It just ain't fair...
Last week I sat here and contemplated my toes.
I've often thought my toes were Fred Flinstone toes. Wide, fat, and ugly.
I sat here and looked at those Flinstone toes and thought, well, maybe a little nail polish will help them look more feminine. Maybe it would help me feel more feminine. So I went to the store and bought some pink nail polish.
I am not a pink person. I didn't realize it until after I'd polished my toes, but I know it now. I removed the pink nail polish and the next day back to the store I went. This time I thought I'd try a deep burgundy. Maybe that's my color.
Now, the label on the nail polish said "Chocolate Truffle", but it looked like deep burgundy, so I bought it. Guess who was right?
That stuff looked like dark Dove chocolate had melted onto my toe nails. I may love to eat dark Dove chocolate, but to wear it on my toes? I don't think so.
I quickly grabbed the nail polish remover and got rid of the "chocolate look". Then I sat here and contemplated my nail polish and my toes once more. How much more money do I want to waste on this project? I looked at the pink. Nope. The Chocolate Truffle. No way. But then I had a brain storm! Pink and dark chocolate together just may make a deep burgundy!
I got out a paper plate, some Q-tips and both bottles of nail polish. I poured out a little pink liquid onto the plate, then a little pile of chocolate and, like Van Gough, I carefully mixed them together. It worked! I had thee perfect color! So, I painstakingly began to polish my toes. This is when my real problems began.
I am 2 years away from being half a century old and I wear bi-focals. Well, even with my glasses on my toes were so far away I could hardly see where my toe nails ended and my toes began. I slopped that burgundy concoction all over my foot. And, by the time I had 3 toes done I'd run out of thee perfect color and had to mix some more.
So, I poured out a little of each color, blended them together and finished foot #1. Then I noticed two things. the first thing I saw was that 3 toes had one lovely shade of burgundy, the other 2 had a completely different shade. The other thing I noticed was that my toe nails had grown wider and longer. Oh wait. That's just polish. I grabbed the nail polish remover, (luckily I'd thought of buying some when I purchased the nail polish) and a Q-tip and tried to remove the nail polish from the last two toes and the skin around toes #1, 2, and 3.
I bet you can guess what happened and you're right. Even with my bi-focals on I couldn't see very well so I accidentally removed half the polish from toe #2. I now had 2 1/2 toes polished. Back to the drawing board.
I removed all the polish from each toe, and mixed another batch of polish together. This time I made sure to make enough for all ten toes. Then I began the process of trying to polish only the nails on each foot. However, it took so long, because I couldn't see the nails very well, that by the time I was done with 7 digits my little pile of paint had dried up.
So, then. Back to mixing. Then polishing. Then realizing the new color didn't match the other 7 toes. Then removing all of it. Then trying again. Then getting them all done only to remove half the polish off each toe as I tidied up the area around the polished nails. So I had to remove it all and start over again.
This whole adventure took about 90 minutes. When I looked at the clock and realized how much time I'd spent on Femininity I was shocked. I also realized that men have it easy. They have to work hard at not looking masculine.
I have waved the white flag on my battle with nail polish. It's over. I'm now wasting time Googling "Craft Projects Using Nail Polish."
It just ain't fair...
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