By "sheer coincidence", (which I don't believe in) our 2 oldest sons have decided to move out. They are not going to be sharing an apartment together. They both "just" found separate places to live at the same time. Places that will save drive time, gas, and wear and tear on their cars.
I know they are still alive.
I know I'll see them again.
I know there are worse things going on in the world.
I know they still love us.
I know they are men now and the last thing on earth a healthy man wants to do is live with his mother forever.
I know I still have 2 boys left at home. (That is like flippantly telling a paraplegic, "Oh well. You don't have the use of your legs anymore but you still have your arms.")
I've made lists in my head about "all the positives". Less noise. Less mess. Less cooking. Less laundry.
Those lists don't help much. Where did my little guys go? Yesterday we had these:
"You and I are like a pair of Ashton's twins, bound together in some unworldly way...sharing a spirit, we're so alike.
When we are parted, when you leave me, I believe that bond will snap and I will bleed inwardly and you'll forget me after a while..."
(Rochester talking to Jane Eyre)
That's almost how I feel right now; it's a little extreme, but I do feel like I've taken to bleeding inwardly. This is the end of our family as it's always been. Not the end of it always and forever. Just as it's always been.
Soak up your babies. Enjoy your kids. Even their noises, their messes, the cooking, and all the laundry you don't feel like doing.