May 27, 2008

The Emptying Nest

By "sheer coincidence", (which I don't believe in) our 2 oldest sons have decided to move out. They are not going to be sharing an apartment together. They both "just" found separate places to live at the same time. Places that will save drive time, gas, and wear and tear on their cars.

I know they are still alive.
I know I'll see them again.
I know there are worse things going on in the world.
I know they still love us.
I know they are men now and the last thing on earth a healthy man wants to do is live with his mother forever.
I know I still have 2 boys left at home. (That is like flippantly telling a paraplegic, "Oh well. You don't have the use of your legs anymore but you still have your arms.")

I've made lists in my head about "all the positives". Less noise. Less mess. Less cooking. Less laundry.

Those lists don't help much. Where did my little guys go? Yesterday we had these:

Today, these:

"You and I are like a pair of Ashton's twins, bound together in some unworldly way...sharing a spirit, we're so alike.
When we are parted, when you leave me, I believe that bond will snap and I will bleed inwardly and you'll forget me after a while..."

(Rochester talking to Jane Eyre)

That's almost how I feel right now; it's a little extreme, but I do feel like I've taken to bleeding inwardly. This is the end of our family as it's always been. Not the end of it always and forever. Just as it's always been.

Soak up your babies. Enjoy your kids. Even their noises, their messes, the cooking, and all the laundry you don't feel like doing.


  1. *hugs* I empathize with you. My time is coming. I hope I have chocolate cheesecake on hand when it does!

  2. I knew one was moving in with Brett, but I was not aware of the other development. Maybe if I didn't skip church to go to the race I'd be up on all the latest news.

    I know it will be a sad day when ours leave. I've told ours that they can stay as long as they want and I really do mean it.

  3. Thanks for the reminder. Our nest is growing ever fuller by the month!

    Someone recently shared that when our children leave, we should think of our nests as "open" rather than "empty." I know your boys will always feel welcome to land safely with you...

  4. JAN... that is such a bittersweet post. I know someday it'll be me mourning and at the same time celebrating the growing up of my boys - of them becoming men and moving out and on their own. Sigh....

  5. You have raised two wonderful men of God and I know that they love you so much!! I can't imagine how it must feel to have an "emptying nest", but I am sure that they are going to soar like eagles!! :)

  6. first of all, I love, love, love Jane Eyre. +50000000000 points for quoting it.

    second of all, since the list thing isn't working, I'm still open to the TP idea. ;-)

  7. Thanks for you comments everyone. I feel hugged, which I really needed!


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