July 30, 2011

Practice Makes Perfect

There are moments in my life when I need a time and a place to just talk and empty my head. Sometimes it seems like there are 29 little Judys running around in my brain, babbling as they go. Like a steam kettle about to pop I need a vent-someplace to let the pressure out.

Sometimes I can do that in prayer, sometimes I write. But, there are moments when I simply need to talk in order to shut those other voices up. Don't you ever feel like it's the talking about a thing that ends up being the fix?

For a time I can ignore the heat of those other Judys by keeping busy. Then suddenly, everything inside is churning, bubbling and popping, and then, watch out.

My 19 year is learning fast. (I'd like to know who his teacher is, btw.) He'll see my face and sense what's coming. Once I start it's like a word avalanche and there's no stopping the flow. He squirms, looks a little nervous, waits until I stop for air and says, "Mom? Is this one of those times where you just need to talk or do you want advice?"
"I just need to talk! I need to emote!"
His shoulders loosen up and a huge sigh of relief escapes his lips. He smiles at me, sits back, relaxes. I can tell he's thinking about his truck, his new aftershave, his job, or the next movie he wants to see, but that's OK. As long as that one ear is there, and occasional eye contact, I'm happy.

He's going to make a good husband and I think, secretly, he's practicing on me.

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