I'm not at all sure what he was thinking....they were deep and heavy thoughts for a 6 year old little boy.
This afternoon Barrett, (our 6 year old), myself, and my husband were out running a few errands. Barrett and I decided to sit in the car and wait for daddy during one stop. I was daydreaming, probably about climbing Mt. Everest, when Barrett stopped my climb dead in its tracks.
"Mommy, what would happen to me if you and daddy and my brothers all died?"
Whoa, that took me off guard.
"Well, sweetie, you'd go live with Joey and Nancy in Oregon."
Barrett looked puzzled, so I went on to explain that Joey is his cousin and Nancy is his wife. They have 3 children close to Barrett's age. I told him they would love him and raise him like he was one of their kids. He would have 2 new brothers and a sister to play with. I went on and told him they love Jesus very much and would take him to church and teach him all about Jesus.
"But mommy, how would they find me? How would they know you were dead?"
Now there's a good question. How would they find out? Where would Barrett be when we died?
Who would take care of him until Joe could get here? I was over tired and my sleepy brain rushed all over the place, imagining several scenarios, not to mention thinking this is an extremely odd conversation to be having with someone who only left the world of diapers and nursing 3 years ago.
Once again he interrupted my musings. "Mommy, when we get home would you show me where their phone number is?"
"Yes, I can do that..."
"I'd have to bring a lot of stuff to their house wouldn't I?"
"Well, yes you would. What would you like to take with you?"
Deep in my heart I was bleeding for my little Worrier. I can't leave you yet. What would you do without your mommy to comfort you? I need you. I'm not ready to leave you.
My thoughts went on as I stared at his sweet little face. Would he like Oregon? Would he even remember Indiana? How long would it be before Nancy was "Mommy" and he'd forget I was the one who had given him birth? Maybe he'd want to take all the scrapbooks I've made with him so he could remember his family. Would he want to take one of my blouses as a "blankie" to cuddle with?
No. Instead he took me off guard one final time, this time with his usual logic.
"I would have to take all my workbooks for school, Mommy."
He's such a little man! Isaac and I have been having a hard time deciding who to leave in charge of the boys if something happened to us. We hate to think about the idea of it really. I want to be with my boys for many many more years!
ReplyDeleteYou might want to keep an eye on that boy. I don't trust him.
ReplyDeleteRight before I read this, my eyes had been filling with tears as I daydreamed about what would happen to my kids if I suddenly died. Weird, I know. I hate being like that. I'm the one in my family who thinks of those scenarios. Barrett and I must be kindred spirits. However, I wasn't thinking about them getting their workbooks done when I was gone. :-)
ReplyDeleteDid he get some peace about everything?
ReplyDeleteHenry had a similar conversation when he was 4--we were driving somewhere, and he asked about death...and then wanted to make sure he wouldn't die before his birthday! Your son seems much more responsible...
You're right wani, he is a little man. And he is someone I need to keep an eye on! He's too old for his years. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnn, I'm not sure if he was even "disturbed", or just trying to figure things out on a practical level. I tried to talk to him about all this the next morning and he'd completely forgotten everything we'd discussed the day before!
Oh, God bless that little man. And God bless your mothering, emotional, homeschooling heart, JAN. I remember thinking about that very thing a lot when I was a kid.
ReplyDeleteYou guys better hope that Barrett and I aren't the only ones left if the rest of you guys decide to kick off. We'd sit around in our dinner jackets listening to classical music, playing chess and smoking pipes while discussing 19th century Russian literature. Who could ask for anything more?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'll give him a bubble-pipe until he's at least twelve years old.
Love you,
Ben
It's wonderful Barrett can trust you with those questions. Some children bottle them up, poor babies.
ReplyDelete