I'm not at all sure what he was thinking....they were deep and heavy thoughts for a 6 year old little boy.
This afternoon Barrett, (our 6 year old), myself, and my husband were out running a few errands. Barrett and I decided to sit in the car and wait for daddy during one stop. I was daydreaming, probably about climbing Mt. Everest, when Barrett stopped my climb dead in its tracks.
"Mommy, what would happen to me if you and daddy and my brothers all died?"
Whoa, that took me off guard.
"Well, sweetie, you'd go live with Joey and Nancy in Oregon."
Barrett looked puzzled, so I went on to explain that Joey is his cousin and Nancy is his wife. They have 3 children close to Barrett's age. I told him they would love him and raise him like he was one of their kids. He would have 2 new brothers and a sister to play with. I went on and told him they love Jesus very much and would take him to church and teach him all about Jesus.
"But mommy, how would they find me? How would they know you were dead?"
Now there's a good question. How would they find out? Where would Barrett be when we died?
Who would take care of him until Joe could get here? I was over tired and my sleepy brain rushed all over the place, imagining several scenarios, not to mention thinking this is an extremely odd conversation to be having with someone who only left the world of diapers and nursing 3 years ago.
Once again he interrupted my musings. "Mommy, when we get home would you show me where their phone number is?"
"Yes, I can do that..."
"I'd have to bring a lot of stuff to their house wouldn't I?"
"Well, yes you would. What would you like to take with you?"
Deep in my heart I was bleeding for my little Worrier. I can't leave you yet. What would you do without your mommy to comfort you? I need you. I'm not ready to leave you.
My thoughts went on as I stared at his sweet little face. Would he like Oregon? Would he even remember Indiana? How long would it be before Nancy was "Mommy" and he'd forget I was the one who had given him birth? Maybe he'd want to take all the scrapbooks I've made with him so he could remember his family. Would he want to take one of my blouses as a "blankie" to cuddle with?
No. Instead he took me off guard one final time, this time with his usual logic.
"I would have to take all my workbooks for school, Mommy."