That's a phrase I've come to detest. People throw it around like confetti. "Hey, this is the way I am. I'm just keepin' it real." My question is, do we ever "keep it real" even when we say we are?
In a strange twist and twirl of blog dancing I stumbled onto a blog called: Stuff Christians Like.
Here's the link if you want to go check it out: http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/.
It's a great site; very amusing and very convicting.
I didn't read every post at that site yet, but what I have read showed me that I haven't kept it real over here at all.
For instance, did you know:
-There is one person in my life I have not been able to forgive? I can't even pray and ask for the willingness to be willing yet. Every time I think about that man I shrivel up in anger inside.
-And I bet you don't know that I sometimes doubt God loves me. I sometimes think He's like Zeus and I want to hide from the next lighting bolt He throws down from the heavens. That's when I have to go back to the whole of my life and the whole of the bible and remind myself that
God IS love. He does love me.....It saddens me that after being a Christian for nearly 34 years I have to do that.
-I have also never told you that Fear is ever present in my life. You'd be shocked if you knew how many things I'm afraid of. Stress and worry practically live on my shoulders.
-One other thing I've never mentioned is that at one time in my life I thought I was going crazy. Literally. I had panic attacks over it. Granted, I was pregnant, and sleep deprived, but I'd been a Christian a long time and should've known better. What's that verse about God giving us a Spirit of power, and love and a SOUND mind? Why couldn't I cling to that when I needed it? And to be really real, I'm still afraid of ending up back in that place of "losing it".
-After all these years I still struggle with making a daily commitment to bible reading and prayer. I know. I know. I just thought you should know....
Hmmmm-I think I see a connection between this last one and all the others.....
Anyway, I could go on and on.
Keepin' it real.....
I haven't "kept it real" for several reasons, but pride is probably at the root. Do I want others to see my Uglies? No Way.
Another thing I've noticed is it's hard to "be real" with other Christians and it's hard to handle it when they are "real" with us. No one likes to hear about another's struggles, doubts, angers, etc. It makes us uncomfortable. We don't know what to say. How to help. So, by being "real" we know we're making others feel uncomfortable and who wants to do that? And, when others are "real" with us it makes us feel uncomfortable and who wants to feel like that?
I'm not sure how to end this post. These are just some of the thoughts I had after visiting Stuff Christians Like....