November 18, 2008

One Thing

There are things that stir my soul....watching children, even children I don't know, perform in an orchestra, a play, or ballet moves me to tears every single time. Even if it's a "happy" performance.
People weeping cause my heart to bleed.
Once in awhile I've seen my husband put his elbows on the table and bury his face in his hands in complete weariness and hopelessness. That breaks my heart.
When I look at my sons and see stubble on their chins and exhaustion in their eyes I feel indescribable pain.

However, there is one thing that connects my heart to Jesus' heart in a way that nothing else does. Violin music.

When I hear a violin being played I melt inside. Have you seen the movie Anne of Green Gables? The long version that I think was made for PBS? Do you remember the scene where Anne and Myrilla are talking about prayer? Myrilla wants Anne to get down on her knees and say a bedtime prayer and Anne replies sort-of like this: "If I were to really pray, I would go out into a meadow, look up into the sky, and just feel a prayer."

That is what violin music does to my soul. I stop inside and just am. My heart is peeled back before Jesus, nothing hidden. I allow Him to look, dissect, instruct, hug, exhort or encourage me. Whatever He thinks I need. It's all there for Him to see anytime, but violin music causes me to willingly lay down before Him and expose it all. All my need. All my ugliness. All my desires. I literally feel a prayer to Him and weep before Him.

Is there anything that stirs your soul? That moves you to complete abandonment before your maker?

3 comments:

  1. We've talked a bit about this before, and I agree. A slow, soulful, solo violin does something to me.
    What else moves my soul?

    Men crying.
    Men praying.
    Men frustrated and overwhelmed.
    The mother hen in me just wants to bake them some fresh pie, sit them down, hold their hands, calm them, and just be there for them.

    Other people stressed out worry me, too, but there is something about a man at the end of his rope that slices you at the core.

    Tin whistles and flutes also pierce my soul and send it into flights of indescribable joy.

    Hugs. There have been times when I was emptied out, and somebody gave me a hug or pat on the back that lifted me up from the pit.
    Example: Fall Fun Festival night was a bad night (loooooooooong story). I sat down by you and Barrett, and you put your arm on my back, as if I were your own little girl. That meant so much I almost started crying. I might have blamed the smoke, but it was your little action that did me in.

    That's a short list of what makes this human iceberg melt.

    Thanks for the post--these are the kinds I love! The "Mama Judy gives us a window into her soul".
    If I can't talk to you around the kitchen table, I'll settle for this.
    But I do want to see you again!
    Alec and I are wanting to have another "girls and elder boys come over" event at your place.
    So I can talk to you whenever that happens. :D :D

    Have a wonderful evening!
    Alex

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  3. What a wonderful post. And yes, certain encounters with nature move my soul. Being on top of Montezuma pass in AZ at sunset. Visiting an old church cemetery on a hillside in Amish country (back in OH) and looking out at the beautiful countryside all around it. Walking with my family on a cold November evening and seeing the incredible glow of the sunset behind the ebony silouette of bare trees. And seeing images of weary soldiers, knowing what their minds and hearts have sacrificed on my behalf (and yet not really knowing at all). A brown and crumpled leaf blowing around in circles in a roadside mud puddle. Knowing the creator gave life to that leaf and brought forth rain for the puddle. So many aspects of nature that I fail to be able to put into words.

    My friend in Ohio is a violinist. Here is a link to some samples of her string quartet's music (lovely).
    http://www.bellflowerstringquartet.com/cd.html

    Oh, and I posted a very good cheeseless mac-n-cheese recipe over at my blog. ;)
    blessings,
    ~Toni~

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