A Midlife Crisis Moment With jan

I'm tired. Very tired. I woke up this morning I think even more tired than when I went to bed.

We've lived in this house 4 years and for some reason our bathroom ceiling has started to mold.
Mike's checked the roof, no problems. He's gone into the attic-bone dry.

Saturday Barrett slipped while climbing around on his bed and fell. His head crashed into Alec's turtle aquarium and broke the glass. Thankfully Barrett just got a couple bumps on his head! However, their room now smells like a cross between wet, moldy carpet and poopy turtle water.

2 of our appliances are dying.

I used to be able to pay the boys 1 cent for every grey hair they plucked. If they pulled out my greys now I'd look like a mangy dog.

My skin is losing it's elasticity. When I pinch the skin on my hand it stays pinched.

Our house is so tiny we are literally going to have to put one of our livingroom chairs in the back of our van for a few weeks if we want to put up a Christmas tree.

Petty stuff, I know. I know.

How about this? In the last week we've seen all 3 of our older boys going through very hard, intense things. We've spent hours talking with a couple of them about their struggles. Mike and I both feel like Charlie Brown's teacher must've felt. We talk but the words just end up in their ears like, "Wawawawa wawaaa wawa......."
What's the point in going through hard things, and learning life lessons if even your kids won't listen to you?

I just finally have accepted the fact that parenting is like marriage. It's an "until death do us part" proposition.

The hard part is surrendering them to the Lord, like you have to do with your spouse. It's up to the Lord to teach them and take care of them. My problem is control. I want to solve their problems. I want to make them comfortable. I want them happy, not struggling.

Alec doesn't come by his stubborn, strong-will mysteriously. Surrender.

It's SO much easier to live with Barrett. With him all I have to worry about is if those gagging noises he's making while he eats his brussel sprouts are going to result in puking on the kitchen floor. Even that would be OK. The floor needs to be mopped anyway.