December 4, 2007

A Midlife Crisis Moment With jan

I'm tired. Very tired. I woke up this morning I think even more tired than when I went to bed.

We've lived in this house 4 years and for some reason our bathroom ceiling has started to mold.
Mike's checked the roof, no problems. He's gone into the attic-bone dry.

Saturday Barrett slipped while climbing around on his bed and fell. His head crashed into Alec's turtle aquarium and broke the glass. Thankfully Barrett just got a couple bumps on his head! However, their room now smells like a cross between wet, moldy carpet and poopy turtle water.

2 of our appliances are dying.

I used to be able to pay the boys 1 cent for every grey hair they plucked. If they pulled out my greys now I'd look like a mangy dog.

My skin is losing it's elasticity. When I pinch the skin on my hand it stays pinched.

Our house is so tiny we are literally going to have to put one of our livingroom chairs in the back of our van for a few weeks if we want to put up a Christmas tree.

Petty stuff, I know. I know.

How about this? In the last week we've seen all 3 of our older boys going through very hard, intense things. We've spent hours talking with a couple of them about their struggles. Mike and I both feel like Charlie Brown's teacher must've felt. We talk but the words just end up in their ears like, "Wawawawa wawaaa wawa......."
What's the point in going through hard things, and learning life lessons if even your kids won't listen to you?

I just finally have accepted the fact that parenting is like marriage. It's an "until death do us part" proposition.

The hard part is surrendering them to the Lord, like you have to do with your spouse. It's up to the Lord to teach them and take care of them. My problem is control. I want to solve their problems. I want to make them comfortable. I want them happy, not struggling.

Alec doesn't come by his stubborn, strong-will mysteriously. Surrender.

It's SO much easier to live with Barrett. With him all I have to worry about is if those gagging noises he's making while he eats his brussel sprouts are going to result in puking on the kitchen floor. Even that would be OK. The floor needs to be mopped anyway.

9 comments:

  1. Oh, Judy. Our struggles seem to mirror each other lately. I wrote in my journal last night about remembering when I was a young mommy with little ones. When I was full of optimism and they listened to my every word. Now I'm tired, aging, sagging. They no longer want my wisdom. Oh, I know they love me- but they look at me like I used to at my own Mom. *sigh*

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  2. I think your boys listen to you more than you know. They won't admit it, but they do.

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  3. Well, at the very least you have empathy for your boys as they face struggles. I think God uses parenting to give us a tiny glimpse into His love for us...how He must ache for us to come to Him with our struggles and problems!
    Hang in there...trust in the Lord with all your heart and LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!

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  4. Huh? I don't remember staying up late and talking for hours. Are you holding out on me?

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  5. (((Hugs))) Parenting is a job that seems to be getting harder as they get older...hang in there, this too shall pass...

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  6. I'm getting to know Ben. You guys did very well with him. I'm happy to call him my friend. I just hope I don't teach him any bad habits.

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  7. Mr. Shumway, you better not teach him any bad habits. He has enough of those already.
    jan

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  8. mom-just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate all the hours of listening and advice... and yes, we do listen, it just might not seem like it sometimes because we are thinking about what you are saying... see, I just proved jill wrong too! haha! I love you mom. :)

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  9. Also sorry I stress you out so much. These struggles are little "blessings in disguise" from God to make us rely on him more and more. I have been realising lately that when there are no struggles in my life for a time, deep down I am way less content than when they are there... The sanctification process definately keeps us on our toes. :) Just glad that God has chosen me as one of his beloved children and that he has blessed me in so many ways (including Godly parents who love me a lot more than I often deserve them to)

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