Home schoolers can be compared to the underground church in the former Soviet Union. There, even as the nation was listening to the Communists shout, "There is no God!" the old grandmothers would whisper into the ears of their grandchildren: "Remember, we are believers. There is a God and we believe in Him!" Like those old Russian grandmothers, we home school moms are building a counter-culture beneath the rotting structure of today's American Society. Our faithfulness is creating a sound structure that, by the grace of God, will last even after the rotting outer shell of our culture has crumbled away. We are not "abandoning ship", rather, we are building a lifeboat.
Paul Weyrich & Vicki Farris
February 19, 2008
February 18, 2008
2 Thank You Notes
Do you like the new header for this blog?! "Big Doofus" volunteered to help me and I love what he did! I wanted something bright and happy and colorful but just couldn't manage it on my own. Thank you soooooo much B.D.! I may now be tempted to live at this desk until spring just staring at my blog. I've been experiencing severe "color deprivation disorder" here in Indiana. Gray trees. Gray grass. Gray skies. Gray roads. It's wonderful to see something so colorful!
I also wanted to thank my husband for a few things. He spent Super Bowl weekend rearranging our furniture. A couple times! And that includes the waltz he did around the perimeter of our living room with a 75 gallon aquarium. "No....it doesn't look good there. Try it over there on that wall.....no...still not quite right....how about over there?" (I'm not sure who looked the worse for wear, Mike or the fish.)
My husband also brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me on Valentine's Day! More color!!
Then yesterday Mike spent the day building a corner desk to put in our bedroom. Know what that's for? Scrapbooking!! I will have my very own spot to create in.
Thanks so much you guys! You are both appreciated and I feel spoiled rotten. :-)
I also wanted to thank my husband for a few things. He spent Super Bowl weekend rearranging our furniture. A couple times! And that includes the waltz he did around the perimeter of our living room with a 75 gallon aquarium. "No....it doesn't look good there. Try it over there on that wall.....no...still not quite right....how about over there?" (I'm not sure who looked the worse for wear, Mike or the fish.)
My husband also brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me on Valentine's Day! More color!!
Then yesterday Mike spent the day building a corner desk to put in our bedroom. Know what that's for? Scrapbooking!! I will have my very own spot to create in.
Thanks so much you guys! You are both appreciated and I feel spoiled rotten. :-)
February 13, 2008
Marriage Matters Part 3
Well, Good Morning! I'm not at all sure what kind of writing this will be. Our 2 older sons kept us up until 11pm talking and laughing and our youngest woke me up this morning at 4:30 sounding croupy. At this point I am feeling "woozy"!
However, I would like to try and write something today. Just bear with me, OK?
The article my friend showed me was truly stunning. At least to me it was, and here's why. I think the author has at some point spent considerable time with Mike. She knew him better than I did. She wrote all about him! Described him to a "T". I just couldn't believe it!
(Before I go on I'll give you some info about the article. It was an excerpt from a book called Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. Have any of you read that book? If so, then you'll know what I'm going to say. I have not read the entire book-just this excerpt.)
I think what I'll do is very loosely paraphrase a bit of the article and then tell you to go beg, borrow, or steal a copy of the book and read what Debi actually says.
The article starts by saying that there are basically 3 types of men:
-Mr. Command Man
-Mr. Visionary
-Mr. Steady
They all have strengths that mirror God's character.
Mr. Command Man: They are born leaders. Military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations and managers of businesses. He sees the bigger picture and strives to help the greatest number regardless of the cost.
Mr. Visionary: Debi's description of this kind of guy was funny so I'm going to copy the first bit completely-Some of you are married to men who are movers and shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: Do we believe in Christmas, should we use state marriage licenses, why a Christian should opt out of the Social Security System etc....these men have tunnel vision...they will easily pick up and relocate without any idea of what they are going to do for a living at their new location.
This kind of man might be an inventor, street preacher or a political activist. He's spontaneous. He may be consumed with a need to communicate through music, writing, voice, or actions. He knows how to do nearly everything and is readily willing to advise others.
Mr. Steady: This is who I'm married to. Caring, faithful, avoids controversy. A servant. Wise. Gentle and thoughtful.
He's the guy who will quietly raise his family, content to let his wife do it her way. He will give his wife a sense of peace and safety. Debi said that there are more "Mr. Steadys" than there are any other type of man.
The article goes into way more detail on the strengths and weaknesses each type of man has and talks about the blessings and trials of being married to any one of them. It is a 17 page article and needless to say I haven't gone into a whole lot of detail. The encouraging thing was seeing that Mike was "normal". The convicting thing for me was seeing that all of his strengths were the things I'd been praying for in husband-I'd just started taking him for granted. Debi even talks about the frustrations and reactions a wife might have being married to any one of these types and what her attitude should be in order to love and support her particular husband.
I saw myself in the article too. As I read it I realized I mirrored every mistake and bad attitude a wife can have in regard to her spouse. The Lord used it to teach me so much about Mike and who he is, as well as renewing an appreciation for all of his many strengths. It really helped me see the "uglies" in my heart and showed me that I'm not the only one in our marriage who has needs.
I should also add that I have a very hard head. Reading the article did not revolutionize our marriage. I sometimes forget what I read and start to get annoyed and frustrated with Mike and pick up my blankety-blank attitude all over again. I keep the article in my bible and when I notice I'm slipping back into confusion over who I'm married to, or I feel a lack of respect toward him I go back and read it again. It helps every single time. It was/is wonderful to have Mike explained. :-)
If you don't want to buy, borrow, beg or steal a copy of the book I would be more than happy to do any one of the following:
-Write more info here
-Make a copy of the article and mail it to you for FREE!
-Get together and discuss it over coffee. (Especially if you live in the Bahamas)
-If you don't like any of those options I know how to email too! :-)
However, I would like to try and write something today. Just bear with me, OK?
The article my friend showed me was truly stunning. At least to me it was, and here's why. I think the author has at some point spent considerable time with Mike. She knew him better than I did. She wrote all about him! Described him to a "T". I just couldn't believe it!
(Before I go on I'll give you some info about the article. It was an excerpt from a book called Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl. Have any of you read that book? If so, then you'll know what I'm going to say. I have not read the entire book-just this excerpt.)
I think what I'll do is very loosely paraphrase a bit of the article and then tell you to go beg, borrow, or steal a copy of the book and read what Debi actually says.
The article starts by saying that there are basically 3 types of men:
-Mr. Command Man
-Mr. Visionary
-Mr. Steady
They all have strengths that mirror God's character.
Mr. Command Man: They are born leaders. Military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations and managers of businesses. He sees the bigger picture and strives to help the greatest number regardless of the cost.
Mr. Visionary: Debi's description of this kind of guy was funny so I'm going to copy the first bit completely-Some of you are married to men who are movers and shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: Do we believe in Christmas, should we use state marriage licenses, why a Christian should opt out of the Social Security System etc....these men have tunnel vision...they will easily pick up and relocate without any idea of what they are going to do for a living at their new location.
This kind of man might be an inventor, street preacher or a political activist. He's spontaneous. He may be consumed with a need to communicate through music, writing, voice, or actions. He knows how to do nearly everything and is readily willing to advise others.
Mr. Steady: This is who I'm married to. Caring, faithful, avoids controversy. A servant. Wise. Gentle and thoughtful.
He's the guy who will quietly raise his family, content to let his wife do it her way. He will give his wife a sense of peace and safety. Debi said that there are more "Mr. Steadys" than there are any other type of man.
The article goes into way more detail on the strengths and weaknesses each type of man has and talks about the blessings and trials of being married to any one of them. It is a 17 page article and needless to say I haven't gone into a whole lot of detail. The encouraging thing was seeing that Mike was "normal". The convicting thing for me was seeing that all of his strengths were the things I'd been praying for in husband-I'd just started taking him for granted. Debi even talks about the frustrations and reactions a wife might have being married to any one of these types and what her attitude should be in order to love and support her particular husband.
I saw myself in the article too. As I read it I realized I mirrored every mistake and bad attitude a wife can have in regard to her spouse. The Lord used it to teach me so much about Mike and who he is, as well as renewing an appreciation for all of his many strengths. It really helped me see the "uglies" in my heart and showed me that I'm not the only one in our marriage who has needs.
I should also add that I have a very hard head. Reading the article did not revolutionize our marriage. I sometimes forget what I read and start to get annoyed and frustrated with Mike and pick up my blankety-blank attitude all over again. I keep the article in my bible and when I notice I'm slipping back into confusion over who I'm married to, or I feel a lack of respect toward him I go back and read it again. It helps every single time. It was/is wonderful to have Mike explained. :-)
If you don't want to buy, borrow, beg or steal a copy of the book I would be more than happy to do any one of the following:
-Write more info here
-Make a copy of the article and mail it to you for FREE!
-Get together and discuss it over coffee. (Especially if you live in the Bahamas)
-If you don't like any of those options I know how to email too! :-)
February 12, 2008
The Wisdom of the Aged
Tonight I sighed as I finished cleaning the kitchen.
Mike looked at me, concern in his eyes. "What's the matter?"
"I'm not going to tell you."
"Why?"
"I don't want to."
"Why don't you want to tell me?"
"I just don't want to."
From the couch, where he's been wallowing in snotty sickness for 2 days, our almost 16 year old enters the conversation. The following is the speech he gave his parents, explaining what a man goes through when he hears his wife sigh.
When a man hears a woman sigh, and he asks her, 'What's the matter?" and she says "Nothing." he immediately thinks, "Oh my goodness. Have I failed to compliment her on something or did I forget an important date? Does she really expect me to know why is she sighing even though I don't know? Is this going to lead to a huge fight about something she really expects me to know and I really don't know? Will this lead to me sleeping on the couch tonight?"
He panics and divorce becomes a new possibility. All from that one lousy sigh.
So tell me. Do you think this is this true? Does all that really go through a man's mind when he hears his wife sigh?
Mike looked at me, concern in his eyes. "What's the matter?"
"I'm not going to tell you."
"Why?"
"I don't want to."
"Why don't you want to tell me?"
"I just don't want to."
From the couch, where he's been wallowing in snotty sickness for 2 days, our almost 16 year old enters the conversation. The following is the speech he gave his parents, explaining what a man goes through when he hears his wife sigh.
When a man hears a woman sigh, and he asks her, 'What's the matter?" and she says "Nothing." he immediately thinks, "Oh my goodness. Have I failed to compliment her on something or did I forget an important date? Does she really expect me to know why is she sighing even though I don't know? Is this going to lead to a huge fight about something she really expects me to know and I really don't know? Will this lead to me sleeping on the couch tonight?"
He panics and divorce becomes a new possibility. All from that one lousy sigh.
So tell me. Do you think this is this true? Does all that really go through a man's mind when he hears his wife sigh?
February 8, 2008
Marriage Matters Part 2
Things didn't actually change for our marriage one dark and stormy night. It was a subtle shift in my attitude that took place during hot, sunny days, snowy winters, rainy nights and warm, muddy springs. Over time I gradually started comparing Mike to other men and he just didn't match up.
I guess I took the gift Jesus had given me and said, "Hmmm. You could've done better, you know." All the reasons I fell in love with Mike, all of his strengths, over time became his weaknesses. I would look at his stability and think, "What's the matter with you? You are so wishy-washy." Most of the time I could/can do no wrong in his eyes, and that annoyed me. I wanted some hills and valleys in our relationship. Some explosions. A good yelling match would've been fun, and they say making up from one of those is ....well, I won't go there. Anyway, our relationship was just plain old steady. His unconditional love even irritated me. He is always willing to give up his time to help me with a project or rearrange the furniture or run to town for something we need. He very rarely takes a day just for "Mike". To me, at that time, I stupidly looked at Mike and thought, "Are you a wimp? You let me walk all over you. You always let me have my way." I didn't see his love for what it was and deep inside I didn't feel safe with the safety of Mike.
I guess I just didn't understand him. He'd always been my best friend but the longer we were married the more he confused me. I wanted someone who would take charge. Be aggressive. I wanted him to set goals-be a mover and a shaker. I didn't appreciate who I'd married and I started treating him with less and less respect.
Eventually my attitude started to leak out into conversations I had with my friends. I'd whine and complain about Mike, or cut him down. Most of them just looked at me, mute. But I did have one friend who was willing to step in and help. She knew Mike and was even married to a man similar in nature. One afternoon as we were visiting together she mentioned an article she'd just run across in a magazine. She told me it was an incredible article that had really helped her understand and appreciate the man she'd married and she just knew it would help me. Sure it will. Right....
Pardon me? What did you say? This post is getting too long and you have to clean your toilet? Oh. OK. I'll finish this some other time.
February 6, 2008
A Little Detour & A p.s. for Mike D.
The problem: Cabin Fever.
The solution: Completely rearrange the furniture in 2 1/2 rooms of your house.
The problem: Discovering you had way more junk than you thought you did.
The solution: Spend 3 more days rearranging furniture, vacuuming and dusting under, over and around said furniture. Not to mention 2 more days purging, purging, purging.
The problem: Realizing you are an emotional, sentimental packrat.
The solution: Still working on that one.
The problem: Not wanting to blog until the "cabin" is back in order.
The solution: Hurry and get things done.
The problem: 2 kids to teach, laundry, ironing, cooking etc.
The solution: Run away from "cabin".?
The problem: Deep depression and confusion because while the "cabin" does look soooooo cozy and homey, mom has lost her scrapbook area.
The solution: Cry, eat chocolate, stare at the space that used to be mom's scrapbook area.
As good ole Arnold said, "I vill be back."
A note for Mike-I can't get my emails to go through to you. For some reason they keep coming back as "Undeliverable Mail". I just didn't want you to think I hated your guts or something.
The solution: Completely rearrange the furniture in 2 1/2 rooms of your house.
The problem: Discovering you had way more junk than you thought you did.
The solution: Spend 3 more days rearranging furniture, vacuuming and dusting under, over and around said furniture. Not to mention 2 more days purging, purging, purging.
The problem: Realizing you are an emotional, sentimental packrat.
The solution: Still working on that one.
The problem: Not wanting to blog until the "cabin" is back in order.
The solution: Hurry and get things done.
The problem: 2 kids to teach, laundry, ironing, cooking etc.
The solution: Run away from "cabin".?
The problem: Deep depression and confusion because while the "cabin" does look soooooo cozy and homey, mom has lost her scrapbook area.
The solution: Cry, eat chocolate, stare at the space that used to be mom's scrapbook area.
As good ole Arnold said, "I vill be back."
A note for Mike-I can't get my emails to go through to you. For some reason they keep coming back as "Undeliverable Mail". I just didn't want you to think I hated your guts or something.
February 2, 2008
Marriage Matters- Part 1
A few months ago a friend of mine asked me if I was ever going to write about our marriage problems. I've been thinking about that question ever since.
We are well into our twenty fourth year of marriage and I guess we have had our share of problems. I am not going to discuss the 2 that marriage experts say are the main causes of stress in every marriage. You know what I'm talking about.
(sse....cough..... and mmon..splutter, cough) Those 2 issues are things Mike and I will only discuss with our probation officers and our psychiatrists. *
So, moving on. Strangely enough, we have discovered other areas of our relationship that weren't perfect. We thought, on our absolutely wonderful, romantic, smooth-sailing-saying-your-vows day that our marriage would run pretty much along the same course as the wedding day itself. However, 24 hours after Mike said, "I do.", he was probably saying, "What on earth have I done?"
I blubbered my way through the first day of our honeymoon. So far I'm the only female I know who has done that. By the following day I had regrouped. Things progressed nicely from there and for the next few years there was peace in our valley. The Lord used Mike to bring huge amounts of stability and healing to my wounded heart.
I grew up in a very unstable atmosphere.
-My parents divorced when I was 7.
-Our country was experiencing horrendous change. (60's and 70's) America was changing politically, morally, and spiritually.
-2 of my brothers went marching down the hippie trail-drugs, Eastern religions, etc.
-One of my brothers died in a motorcycle/car crash when I was 12.
-Schools were experimenting with how to educate kids. "New math", open classrooms, etc. etc. That means if you were not a "motivated" student, it was very easy to get lost in the system and not learn a thing.
-My mom was a Real Estate agent, but not really. I think all in all she only sold 1 1/2 houses. As a result, money was something that I knew very little about.
- Visits with my dad were few and far between, and he had a new family he was trying to raise. I felt lost in the shuffle.
When I was old enough to start dreaming about marriage, I made a list of qualities I wanted in a husband and then proceeded to ask the Lord to please bring "him" along. In His time He did. Mike is solid and dependable. He's stable. He loves me unconditionally. He's funny and sweet. He is quiet and safe and gentle. He is my best friend and everything I never experienced growing up.
But then, one dark and stormy night.........
(*This is a joke. While Mike and I may have contemplated murdering one another, we've never actually attempted it. And, the closest we've ever come to employing a psychiatrist was when our boys hit puberty - and that was for them. )
We are well into our twenty fourth year of marriage and I guess we have had our share of problems. I am not going to discuss the 2 that marriage experts say are the main causes of stress in every marriage. You know what I'm talking about.
(sse....cough..... and mmon..splutter, cough) Those 2 issues are things Mike and I will only discuss with our probation officers and our psychiatrists. *
So, moving on. Strangely enough, we have discovered other areas of our relationship that weren't perfect. We thought, on our absolutely wonderful, romantic, smooth-sailing-saying-your-vows day that our marriage would run pretty much along the same course as the wedding day itself. However, 24 hours after Mike said, "I do.", he was probably saying, "What on earth have I done?"
I blubbered my way through the first day of our honeymoon. So far I'm the only female I know who has done that. By the following day I had regrouped. Things progressed nicely from there and for the next few years there was peace in our valley. The Lord used Mike to bring huge amounts of stability and healing to my wounded heart.
I grew up in a very unstable atmosphere.
-My parents divorced when I was 7.
-Our country was experiencing horrendous change. (60's and 70's) America was changing politically, morally, and spiritually.
-2 of my brothers went marching down the hippie trail-drugs, Eastern religions, etc.
-One of my brothers died in a motorcycle/car crash when I was 12.
-Schools were experimenting with how to educate kids. "New math", open classrooms, etc. etc. That means if you were not a "motivated" student, it was very easy to get lost in the system and not learn a thing.
-My mom was a Real Estate agent, but not really. I think all in all she only sold 1 1/2 houses. As a result, money was something that I knew very little about.
- Visits with my dad were few and far between, and he had a new family he was trying to raise. I felt lost in the shuffle.
When I was old enough to start dreaming about marriage, I made a list of qualities I wanted in a husband and then proceeded to ask the Lord to please bring "him" along. In His time He did. Mike is solid and dependable. He's stable. He loves me unconditionally. He's funny and sweet. He is quiet and safe and gentle. He is my best friend and everything I never experienced growing up.
But then, one dark and stormy night.........
(*This is a joke. While Mike and I may have contemplated murdering one another, we've never actually attempted it. And, the closest we've ever come to employing a psychiatrist was when our boys hit puberty - and that was for them. )
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