New Quote of the Day-Motherhood

"To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. "

G.K. Chesterton

A Little Child Won't Be Leading Us!

Last night as Barrett and I sat and read some books together, I asked him a question.
"Barrett, if Christmas is Jesus' birthday, how come we get the presents?"

"Hmmm. I don't know, Mommy."
He thought about it for a moment and then said,
"Maybe because He likes to watch us open presents!"

I was pleased with that answer. At least it showed that Barrett thinks God takes pleasure in our joy. My momma pride was short lived, however. As I was studying Barrett's sweet little face and thinking about his answer, he was busy thinking of another question.

"Mommy, do you think God worships us on our birthdays?"

passing from life into Life

(Thanks to Rachel, I changed the name of this post....)

Yesterday morning I woke up and just couldn't get out of bed. Barrett was cuddling with me. It was still dark outside. I was toasty warm. I was comfortable. My shoulder didn't ache. My knees didn't hurt. My back didn't ache. I felt good.
I started thinking about what a great way that would be to die. Just to lay there, warm, cozy, and comfortable, until I leave this body.
That cheerful thought led me to imagining my men/boys around me as I go. What would they really say and do if I were leaving this body?

(I can't imagine leaving Barrett yet, so I'm going to leave him out of this.)

Mike would quietly, patiently sit by my side, praying for me and our sons.

Benjamin would say, "Mom, quit crying. We'll be there soon. Dying is just a part of living. Get over it..." And then he'd pick up the latest book he's reading on philosophy, one that would be way over my head on a good day, read it out loud to my shriveling brain cells, and literally bore me to death.

James would sweetly hold my hand and tell me stories about his day.

Alec would come up with some wild, sarcastic comments like, "Gee mom. You don't look half bad for a woman who's half dead!" I'd start laughing and get well.

What I hope they would do is this:

I'd like Mike to sit and quietly read the bible out loud to me.

I'd like James and Mike to come and serenade my going with their gentle, soft guitar playing.

Benjamin should come and preach truth to me. Seriously. I need it.

Alec can come and just be himself. He makes me laugh and laughing would be the perfect way to go.

I also want Mike to kiss me sweetly on the lips. (Provided I don't have something contagious.)

On most days Benjamin and James kiss me on the head as they rush out the door. I love and treasure those kisses and I hope I get some on my head as I leave them for a change..

And of course, I want Alec's hugs. They nurture the mom in me.

After all that, I want them to set up a card table in the corner and play cards. I love, love, love to listen to my guys tease each other and banter, pick on each other, preach at each other, laugh at and with each other, and talk together.

Yep. That would be the way to go.

Higher Ground

Toward the end of the summer a young man at our church started a group for young adults. It's called: Higher Ground. They meet every Friday night. Our 2 older sons love it and have gone almost every week. This group is treated like a secret meeting of the Masons, the Independent Order of Odd Fellows, or the KKK. The group leaders have made it very clear that anyone younger than 18 or older than 29 is not welcome.
We've always been picky and very careful about who our kids hang out with, but as they've grown into adulthood we've "given them their wings" and let go. We try and remember that they're in the Lord's hands and "remind" Him that He needs to take care of them now. (I know, I know. HE doesn't need reminding!)
Anyway-as some of you may remember, I am a curious person. I was dying to know exactly who our sons were hanging out with and what they were up to. Did the kids they were hanging out with love the Lord? Were there strange initiation rights they had to go through in order to join? I won't go into detail, but my imagination worked overtime tormenting me with ideas about our sons' new friends.
(Just a side note-I'm not happy about being old enough to call people in their 20's "kids". But they are kids.....)
Anyway-earlier in the fall they finally decided to open the meeting up, for one evening, and allow parents to come see what Higher Ground is all about.
Needless to say, I went. I had a great time, and all my fears were put to rest. As a bonus prize, my son later told me that I was voted "Coolest Mom" after I'd left!
The "Kids" start out their meeting playing pool or ping pong, listening to loud, annoying, headache-giving music..Did I just say that? I mean inspiring, awesome, life changing music.
Later, they gather together and spend some time in worship. A little later they sit together and share prayer requests, talk, laugh, have an "announcement" time and then pray together.
Even later in the evening it's back to the indescribable music and more games and laughter.
I imagine they were on their best behavior because it was after all, "Parents' Night", but I was so impressed with every one of them. They were mature, they love the Lord, and it's easy to see that they all are "considering how to spur one another on toward love and good deeds."
(Hebrews 10:24)
By the way, it was easy peasy for me to win the "Coolest Mom" award. I was the only parent that showed up.

December in Barcelona Or: I'm Glad I Listened to Mom

It all started when I was 3. I discovered pretend food, tiny plastic dishes, a little iron that actually heated up, and baby dolls. Right then I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I wanted to be a wife and mommy, and that's all I wanted.
That was the supreme goal in my little life. It didn't change as I grew into a young girl, and then an early teen. By the time I was 12 I had several checks against those goals ever becoming a reality.
1. I was not exactly skinny-boys only looked at me to tease me about my not-so-skinny state.
2. My parents were divorced-I had all kinds of emotional baggage from that. For one thing, I was afraid of ending up like they were someday. Hence, I thought, no way. I'm not even going to get married!
3. I can't think of anymore right now so I'll just get on with the story.

As I grew older, I would often whine, "Mom, why don't boys pay attention to me? I want to get married. I want to be a mom...." etc. etc. (Even though the thought of "divorce" terrified me.)
My mom's best advice came from those whiny moments. She just kept saying,"Judy, you're going to be married for a long time. And once you have kids, your life will change forever. Enjoy being young and single. Travel. Try new things! Meet people and make friends with all of them! You'll be tied down to a house, bills, responsibilities for the rest of your life. Just enjoy everything you can before you get married."

Well, for some strange reason I actually listened to my mother. (That didn't happen often) and a year after I graduated from high school I found myself on a mission trip with YWAM. There I was, 19 years old, temporarily living in a campground on the Mediterranean Sea just outside Barcelona, Spain. It was December and cold.

The bathrooms were large and had many sinks, toilets, and showers. The only problem was that the walls of the bathroom building did not go all the way up to the ceiling. Do you know what that means? You were basically showering outside in temperatures that averaged in the 30's. We had to wash our clothes outside in large mudroom-type sinks. The temperature averaged in the 30's.

While we were there, one of the girls wanted to be water baptized in the campground swimming pool. Ice had to be chipped off the pool before she could get in it to be dunked.

There were 7 of us girls literally stuffed into 1 camper. One poor girl even had to sleep on the floor of our cramped camper.

There was no central meeting room so anytime we had a worship service or even a meal, we met or ate outside, standing up. The temperatures averaged in the 30's.

Nearly every morning I would head to the beach to watch the sunrise. I'd stand there, in the sand, all alone except for Jesus. I was alone because no one else wanted to be on a beach when the temperatures averaged in the 30's. Just as the sun was peeking over the edge of the water I'd close my eyes and sing. I had never been happier.
There I was, alone with Jesus, having the adventure of my life. Seeing new things, exploring the world, making new friends, and learning more and more about the One who was and is my best friend. Worship just came naturally from a full and overflowing heart.

Sometimes as I stood there singing my heart out, I would suddenly be distracted by a strange and unpleasant odor. The Barcelona sewage system was located right outside the campground. When the wind was blowing in the direction of the campground, well, you can imagine. Yuck. Sometimes I was able to ignore it and go on singing. If that happened, something else would come along as a distraction. Right beyond the Barcelona sewage system was the Barcelona airport. Vroooooommms! from planes either taking off or landing would be sure to drown out any singing the stink hadn't managed to choke off.

I had a friend on our mission team I adored. Barry. He was from England. We hit it off and laughed for 4 months. (Our mission team had been in England for a 3 month training period before we went on the mission trip to Spain.) No romance, just a wonderful friendship. Sometimes we could hardly walk because we'd be laughing so hard.

There were YWAM teams from other countries staying at the campground while we were there. One of them was from Sweden. One morning, in the pre-dawn darkness we were all awakened by the sound of singing. Lovely singing. Sweet voices singing beautiful Swedish Christmas carols. As we all stumbled out of our little campers we saw something that I personally will never forget. The girls from the Swedish YWAM team were drifting through the campground singing. They were all dressed in white robes with shimmering red sashes tied around their waists. In their soft golden hair they wore Evergreen wreaths surrounded with lit candles. This was their Christmas gift to anyone who happened to be there that dark, December morning.

I've been doing this wifey, mommy thing for 23 years now. I've not had the chance to see too many exciting places since I said, "I do." The Lord has given me the desire of my heart and blessed me with a wonderful husband and 4 amazing sons. He's also blessed me with sweet and funny memories from a lifetime ago.
My mom was right. I've been blessed twice over. Two rich, full lives. I'm glad I listened to her.

Better Than Chocolate?

Yesterday was a bad day. I won't bore you with all the details but I will tell you this:
it involved:

• a stalker


• conviction from the Lord about how enamored I am with my blog and myself


• having to go to my husband's office party and make small talk, when basically I am a shy person and have no idea what to say to those people


• the sudden realization that Christmas is only 14 days away and I've so far only sent 5 cards and haven't even thought about what to get some people, let alone finished crafting and shopping and baking.


• my house is NOT clean, which proves that my post on housecleaning was a sham. Now everyone knows I'm a hypocrite.

In lieu of all that, I need some comfort. So.....I'm going to give myself "The I Gave Myself This Award Award."

And I'd like to thank Big Doofus and Misssniz for sharing it with me.
(Feel free to give yourself this award if you'd like to.)

A Guest Speaker

For language today I had Alec, (our 15yr old) write the same poem I posted yesterday. Hope you enjoy it!

Where I'm From

by Alec

I am from Computers,
from Vitamin D milk & Delicious Starbucks’ hot chocolate.
I am from the small cozy home with many chairs.
I am from the Spider plants and the apple tree.
I am from Thanksgiving feasts and Sarcasm,
from Mom and Dad and four grandparents.
I am from the Spontaneous and the Weird.
From “Hang you by your toes in the apple tree” and “Wash your hands!”
I am from God is there no matter what, Even when you sin.
I am from a little town in Indiana,
from Germans, Italians, Dutch and Norwegians.
From Long Conversations and Deep Discussions,
that are not always exciting.

Where Did That Come From?

I found the idea for the poem in the last post here:

http://www.fragmentsfromfloyd.com/archives/2005_02.html#003144

If you try writing one, would you let me read it? :-)
jan

Where I'm From

I am from sawdust under my dad's table-saw,

from Tang, and frozen pot pies.

I am from a quaint place called Sunnybrook Lodge:

the crick, tiny rental apartments, and wet snow falling on my hair as I wander at night.

I am from the mountains,

the pine trees,

wildflowers, and elk.

From ma's mostachioli & homemade bread,

pride and independence,

from Richters and Rinellas and 3 big brothers.

I'm from the people who have an answer for everything,

this too shall pass, and don't freeze your gee gee.

I'm from be careful how you pray, you might get what you ask for

and God helps those that help themselves.

I'm from Chicago, proud Italians

and stubborn Germans.

I'm from chocolate and gin & tonic,

a dad who liked to hunt and fish, fish and hunt,

and a mom who pushed on despite everything.

Her treasures were her children and grandchildren,

now scattered between heaven and earth. Her

family was priceless.

We Rented A House

For seven years we lived in a tiny duplex. As our family grew, so did our desire for a bigger home. Then an amazing thing happened. We were given the opportunity to rent a house. It wasn't just any house though. We had 3 growing boys and here's what the Lord blessed us with:

• 23 acres of woods and a small meadow
• a large front field full of long, wild grass
• 3 acre pond
• an apple tree in the front yard
• berry bushes thrown in everywhere around the property
• 2 row boats
• ducks, geese, herons
• fish to catch
• turtles to catch
• beaver to observe
• microscopic creatures to study
• ice skating
• sledding
• deer to watch
• leaves, leaves, leaves to rake, jump in, and collect
• nests, cocoons, insects, pine cones, seed pods, and acorns
• bonfires and s'mores and hot dogs
• antique bottles buried into the side of a hill to dig up
• paths to chase each other through
• a loooooonnnnnnnggggggg driveway to shovel in the winter
• bird feeders with hundreds of birds to categorize
• watching squirrels gather nuts
• beautiful wildflowers surrounding the house
• the house was large-HUGE living room with a fireplace, 3 large bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and large windows in every room

A couple special memories we have are:

• watching the boys play "Lions in Africa" in the tall grass in the field in front of the house
• playing Frisbee, volleyball and flying kites in the same front field
• one Autumn we watched a squirrel frantically spend his days gathering nuts. He put them in an old hollow tree right outside our living room window. One morning we got up and a raccoon had moved into the food-filled tree. We never saw the poor squirrel again. (I'm sure there's a spiritual lesson in that somewhere.)
• My mother-in-law came and spent a month with us shortly after we moved into that house. One morning, at the crack of dawn, I stumbled out into the living room to find her standing in front of a roaring fire in the fireplace, our 3 sons were with her. All 4 of them were still in their jammies and you know what they were doing? Giggling and roasting marshmallows, laughing, and talking!
• Every spring we loved to watch the geese returning from the south. The pond would still have ice on it when they came. It was so fun to sit in our warm, cozy living room and watch them come in for a landing on the slippy half-melted ice. They'd slide and fall, and tip-toe around like drunken old sailors.
• Except for the summer months, when it's hot and muggy out, Mike and I sleep with our bedroom window open. One morning, late in the fall, when it was still dark out, we woke up to the sounds of crunching and munching outside our bedroom window. We went to the front door and peeked out. There, under the apple tree, were 3 deer, feasting on the apples that had fallen on the ground. The really strange thing was this: one of our cats was out there with them, weaving around their legs and rubbing up against them as only cats do!
• Every once in awhile the boys would find an enormous snapping turtle they just had to show me. To this day I have no idea how they would get the turtles into the row boat, but somehow they did. Benjamin, our oldest, would row the boat across the pond with James sitting behind him keeping a sharp lookout on the turtle. If the turtle tried to move toward the front of the boat James would whack at it with a stick.
• Because the pond was "comma" shaped, I couldn't always see the boys when they were out in the boats. It's only natural that at times I'd be worried about them and want to make sure they hadn't drowned at the back end of the pond. So, good old mom would use her "football game whistle" to call them home, just to make sure they were still alive and well. After rowing and working and sweating their way back around the pond to the house they'd call out, "What mom?" "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were OK."
• Our youngest son was born in the living room of that house.

We've since moved on from that house.....the memories we have are priceless........

A Midlife Crisis Moment With jan

I'm tired. Very tired. I woke up this morning I think even more tired than when I went to bed.

We've lived in this house 4 years and for some reason our bathroom ceiling has started to mold.
Mike's checked the roof, no problems. He's gone into the attic-bone dry.

Saturday Barrett slipped while climbing around on his bed and fell. His head crashed into Alec's turtle aquarium and broke the glass. Thankfully Barrett just got a couple bumps on his head! However, their room now smells like a cross between wet, moldy carpet and poopy turtle water.

2 of our appliances are dying.

I used to be able to pay the boys 1 cent for every grey hair they plucked. If they pulled out my greys now I'd look like a mangy dog.

My skin is losing it's elasticity. When I pinch the skin on my hand it stays pinched.

Our house is so tiny we are literally going to have to put one of our livingroom chairs in the back of our van for a few weeks if we want to put up a Christmas tree.

Petty stuff, I know. I know.

How about this? In the last week we've seen all 3 of our older boys going through very hard, intense things. We've spent hours talking with a couple of them about their struggles. Mike and I both feel like Charlie Brown's teacher must've felt. We talk but the words just end up in their ears like, "Wawawawa wawaaa wawa......."
What's the point in going through hard things, and learning life lessons if even your kids won't listen to you?

I just finally have accepted the fact that parenting is like marriage. It's an "until death do us part" proposition.

The hard part is surrendering them to the Lord, like you have to do with your spouse. It's up to the Lord to teach them and take care of them. My problem is control. I want to solve their problems. I want to make them comfortable. I want them happy, not struggling.

Alec doesn't come by his stubborn, strong-will mysteriously. Surrender.

It's SO much easier to live with Barrett. With him all I have to worry about is if those gagging noises he's making while he eats his brussel sprouts are going to result in puking on the kitchen floor. Even that would be OK. The floor needs to be mopped anyway.

Help! It's Monday!

It's Monday. That's a very good reason to post something funny, isn't it? The start of another looonnnngggg week. I left this as a comment on another blog, but then decided to post it here too. Hope it gives you a little laugh as you start your week.
When our second son, James, was little, he couldn’t pronouce his “R’s”, so when he talked he sounded a lot like Elmer Fudd. The summer that he was 2 or 3 we attended a family reunion. One evening the entire family decided to go to Pizza Hut for dinner. Our son was seated at the end of the table in a high chair. Everyone was talking and laughing and ignoring the little guy when all of a sudden his voice bellows: “WHERE’S MY FORK AND KNIFE?!” Only it didn’t sound like that because of the “R” problem. It sounded like,“WHERE’S MY F****** KNIFE?!” Not only did our entire family stop and turn their heads, so did everyone else in the restaurant. I wanted to crawl under the table I was so embarrassed. Then suddenly the room burst into laughter. James is 19 now and is still to this day being teased about his "foul" mouth.