August 17, 2011

When I Look in the Mirror I See


I see the curly lines of my hair, growing there in cheerful confusion.

I see the lines of crows' feet at my eyes. I like crows feet-they tell me happy, joyful experiences have danced through my life.

Then there are the lines under my eyes. Whew....those lines....why is it that my sin sits there on my face, like a beacon? The bags under my eyes tell the world: here is a woman who has trouble sleeping. She's a fretful person who's spent way too many hours laying in bed suffocating under the weight of things she was never meant to carry. She still needs to learn the simple lesson of surrendering every molecule of her world to God. His hands are fully capable. She should know that by now. He has a proven track record.

Heading east and west are the lines called "arms". I think those are the most blessed lines of my entire body. Without them I would never have held my husband, loving and being loved. The babies God put in my care wouldn't of been embraced, close to my heart, where they belonged for ever so brief a time. Those arms have allowed me to serve my family. To show them I love them in a million ways by cooking, cleaning, driving, hugging....books wouldn't of been opened and shared, solar systems and erupting volcanoes never made, band aids never applied. My arms have encircled friends and said, I love you without words. Because of my arms I've been able to craft, create, nurture, and share my heart in ways I never could if they weren't there.

Now we go south. The lines around my middle. There is a nasty, ugly scar there. That line marks the spot where we lost our first baby. I ofen wonder about that tiny person. What would our family be if God had allowed that baby to be a part of it? Then of course there are the lines that tell the story of the babies that were. I could say stretch marks are ugly... disgusting even. But without them my world would be a completely different place and I would be a completely different person. Those lines are there because God chose to use this body to bring 4 men into the world. To share that experience with Him goes beyond description. My heart is laying at His feet in awe....

And finally, the lines of my legs. They have been there through thick and thin, literally! They've put up with so much and have taken me places I longed to see. Like my arms, those legs have allowed me to love and serve. They've carried me overseas, up mountains, and over countless trails backpacking and hiking. They've held onto skis, skates, horses, and rafts on the Colorado River. One poor leg has been bruised and beaten, used by God to rock my world.

The lines of my body tell a story. My story. They show me where I need to shape up and they remind me that God has been with me in sovereign, loving control through each and every day.

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